TheApple

johnslat says ...

 Dear debo,

Yup. you're right about the different tribes. Those are the two MAIN ones, but there are others.

Good heavens no - I'm not a Fudd (Ph.D). I have an M.A. in English Education, but language has always fascinated me.

This reminds me of when my Saudi students would call me, "Dr. John."

"I'm not a doctor", I'd tell them.

"What we call you then?" they'd ask (with the usual grammar mistakes.)

"Well," I'd say, "I have a Masters, so why don't you just call me Master."  (And then I'd have to explain how that was a joke.)

 

 

John ~ hahahahaha!   "Master John" ...tee-hee.... you wouldn't want to make that joke in the South!    Wonder what KMFelder would think of a joke like that.....   it is funny, though.... perhaps I shall call you  Master John!   (not-to-worry, I probably won't remember to...durrrr)   thanx for the laugh!

 

Thank you for the mini lesson FER...  and, me gustan burritos con chili verde!

Dear gooseymom,

 "Personally,I do not think the issue of bearing children should be a deal breaker if there is genuine 'love' in the relationship between the two partners."

I agree - but the crucial word is "should." One thing I do know, though, is that if one partner has a VERY strong urge to procreate whereas the other doesn't/cannot, it's highly likely that this will put a big strain on the relationship. Resentments, often unspoken, can simmer for quite some time, and often they eventually boil over. 

gooseymom says ...

John,

I do agree and I think that the lack of true communication seems to be a huge problem in today's marriage culture. I am amazed by the amount of people who can discuss personal issues with anyone other than their 'soul mate' or partner. I know from experience that talking to my husband is the easiest way to keep our marriage alive and growing strong.

From your posts you are quite sensible person.  I enjoy reading your thoughts on the many topics you post to.

This may sound silly, but there is a book that trains couples to communicate with one another, it's called "The Power of Two" and it is a training manual for teaching men and women how to listen, and hear, what the other is saying ~ and how to respond without the types of judgements that distance you from one another.  

Men and women almost speak different languages...of course it is the same language but each tends to interpret the words of the other according to selective hearing.

In passing here's a "smile" : when men get older and start to lose their hearing, they lose the hearing at the higher range pitches first ~ the range that a woman's voice registers in.....and with women it is the opposite, we lose the lower range first, where a man's voice registers!

Thanx, teacher411, for your contribution!

 Dear kmfelder55,

I definitely agree about the "lust" part and with your description of what love is. But rather than using age 47 as a benchmark, how about age 58? That's when I first met my love, Mary Ann - after we'd been e-mailing each other for a year (I was in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; she was - and is- in Santa Fe, NM.) We'd both been married twice before, but we were still searching.

When we got married in 2004, Mary Ann asked me to write a poem her son could read at the ceremony. Here it is:

"On the Occasion of Our Third Marriages"

We tried it once, we tried it twice 

And neither time was very nice 

Then reason said, "There's little doubt; 

You'll have to learn to live without 

A lifetime lover and a friend. 

This foolishness must surely end."

But reason's words. though very smart, 

Went all unheard within the heart 

Where hope continued to survive, 

Where dying dreams are kept alive. 

Against the tyranny of reason, 

Hope conspired - and counseled treason.

And so throughout the lonely years, 

Despite the whispers of our fears, 

Despite the voice of commonsense, 

Despite the mounting evidence, 

We both would not accept our fate, 

We both kept searching for our mate.

Now life is such a funny thing; 

No one can tell what it will bring. 

You think you have it figured out, 

You think there isn't any doubt 

And then, confounding expectations 

It upsets all your calculations.

Who would have guessed, who could have thought 

That we would find whom we both sought; 

And found each other, stranger yet, 

By virtue of the Internet 

From ten thousand miles apart? 

Distance is nothing to the heart.

So never give up and never despair; 

Someone is listening to your prayer. 

And often when you least expect it 

You'll find you have at last connected. 

You'll find the one who sees your soul, 

You'll find the one who makes you whole."

John, you've made me cry...what a lovely, truthful poem!     I know I've said this before, but, I'm very glad I've met you.   When I return to Santa Fe, you and Mary Ann and I are going to meet.   And, if Mary Ann doesn't mind, I'm going to give you a warm, friendly hug!

Teacher__411, You are a most fortunate woman!

My Grammie always said, "Every pot has a lid!"  

KMfelder, hey!   Where ya been?   Good to see you back here.... and, about finding the right one>>be patient and trust to Grammie's advice.

My dear FER this is a lovely topic which i experienced recently.. I was like you, i don't believe in love from the first sight but one day and after finishing my exam i went out to have some rest to continue the second one... Downstairs i saw someone looking at me i felt something in his sight and i can't bear myself looking to him without speaking; i have a strange feeling really i can't describe it..

He asked if i'm waiting someone there, so hurried to answer "no, nobody, just i have an exam after half an hour" so we still introduce ourselves to each other till he asked me to give him my  telephone number and how he admired the vision from downstairs wherever i was upstairs however we can see each other..

I was astonished he called me my princess..and this is what i called Love from the first sight.. As long as it was the first experience i ever had but nothing endured between me and the man of that day...!!! : )

AMIGA DONIA: did you get married with him and live happily ever after? or nothing happened,

Suddenly. she opened the door of the consulting room, walked with a strong security to all the people that were there waiting to be called by her, almost everybody were sat while a few were standing next that door. She said Maria Robles Hernandez, and a person raised a hand, she went there wearing that clean white nurse uniform. She check her blood pressure. I look at her every single time  she said a name and walked to that person, then she said "Fernando Longinos Hidalgo" I said "here". She came to me with the same segurity, wearing glass, (that gave her  an intelectual look) her personality was so strong to me that I couldn't stop staring at her. I wanted to say something, something important, something intelligent, something that could make me look as the interesting and funny guy I think I am...but what I say was " Excuse me, all that people that you called before, are going to see  the doctor before I do? ( clever, isn't it) with a smile she said "yes, they are 13 and the doctor is checking number 4 you are number 14". "can you give me your hand?" I thought "my hand, my soul, if you want the moon I give you  the moon". Then she started cheking my blood pressure, I had another chance.

One thing that made me look at her was that way she talked to the patients, always smiling to them, in a very kind way , but how could I interruped her "very good doing job", with my possible quiestions that didn't have anything ti do with that moment. I asked "how is my pressure?" She said "it's  little low"  I said  "I haven't had brealfast" and she smiled with those very sweet lips and said "oh! you should go dowmstair and eat something" I thought " would you like to come with me and have a very nice conversation that could make you see that I am a nice  and very interesting person?" but I didn't say anything else. I just smiled and that, interesting woman smiled too.

was that love at first sight?

FER....why have you posted your story 3 times?

I would say what you experienced was "interest at first sight"....but only you can tell us how you felt.   It sounds more like your imagination than actual interactive-feelings...maybe, just maaaybe, that is what love at first sight is all about, our own imaginations, eh?

You tell me....were your feelings more than a stirring-in-the-loins?   Did your heart and your mind get involved?

I'm smiling....you don't need to answer those questions outloud, here, just ask yourself.

Or, just ignore me....I'm feeling like this answer may be too personal ~smile.

Of course you didn't....sometimes these little machinas have a hiccup!   It's amazing what they can do...so we shouldn't wonder at any small glitch.

On google-earth I can go to Mexico City and see your world....and you can come to California and see mine....isn't that incredible?

The first time I discovered google-earth I went to the Acropolis and the Parthenon...spent an hour just scanning around....saw the Temple of Athena...it was a wonderous thing!

Goodmorning to you!    (Buenos Dias!)

It's the Sacramento river, Nando, and it's deep, wide, and ever-flowing...which means it is also cooold!    I prefer Whiskeytown Lake: a veritable gem of sapphire in a wilderness of green.  And, in July and August it's tepid... warm, fresh, clean...soooo beautiful!   It's only 7 miles from my house, so I go several times a week.   My girlfriends and I kayak there.   I live less than a mile from the Sacramento River, it's lovely, but, as I said, "burrrrr!"

I'm a 3 hour drive from the Pacific Ocean and the giant Redwoods.   My girlfriends and I have an annual storytelling event we attend every fall, it is held in the Redwoods, and we get a cabin on the cliffs above the ocean.   It gives meaning to being alive!

Just like you, I think my home is beautiful.

~debo

Hola Fer,

I agree with you. There is some good in Mexico as well as the bad. My best friend from high school went to Mexico for her honeymoon and she said it was just gorgeous. It is a very lovely place. I like to travel with the discovery, travel, and history channels when they explore different parts of the world. I am also wanting to incorporate epals into my classroom next year so my kids have the opportunity to learn about another culture/country from natives. This will also give the natives a first hand view into the American culture.

Oh, I've been to Mexico...I won a trip to Cosamel (sp?) but, I told the contest administrators that it looked like a high-end resort in the United States...all those high-rise hotels and chlorined swimming pools...I live in the US, I didn't want to go to just another resort...so they let me pick my destination and I chose Zihuatanejo...a sleepy, little fishing village close to Ixtapa, that hasn't yet been over run by touristas.   I wanted to see the real culture.

As it turned out, the place they booked me into was an exclusive, high-end resort. (sigh) However, it was only 3 or 4 miles from the actual village where the fishing cove and the market place was...so, I did get to meet some real life people...I also witnessed the difficulties and the poverty...broke my heart to see children, and toothless old grandmas begging on the streets for money.   Yes, of course, I gave them money!   But, I also watched my handbag closely...ahem.   

What really disturbed me were the soldiers, carrying guns, standing on street corners....it was a clue and a warning that all was not well there...and so I was even more alert for potential dangers.

But, there was also GREAT Beauty!   Oh-so breath taking!    I've always wanted to return.   Some day perhaps I will.   But, if I do, I will not be able to afford $350 a night for a room at that resort!   (Villa del Sol)

Where I saw the greatest despair was outside of Ensenada ~ we went to the "blow hole" (where the sea splashes up into the air!) ~ and it was a real tourist-trap....one thing I do know, FER, is that "No" is the same in Spanish as it is in English!    (grin)   On the bus trip going there, we saw desolation.....barren earth with little hovels for houses... ahhhh, it was very sad and despairing.   If I were the "Queen of the World" and "All Powerful" no one, anywhere, would have to live like that.

Because of my personal background I know that good people can be poor, and this is not a value on which to judge them... but, I also know that good people can be desperate, too...so, even though I do not judge people for their living standards, I do keep a wary-eye open.

FER, in your post below, I think you meant to say "WHAT DO YOU LIKE THE MOST ABOUT THE PLACE YOU LIVE?" ~ yes?

Keep smiling!

~debo