TheApple

News >> Browse Articles >> K-12 News

Making a Stink Over Teacher's Tattoo Ink

Dear Leanna: My son and his friends have been talking about a tattoo on their geometry teacher’s breast. I’m appalled she can distract students this way. I called the principal to complain, but he said it wasn’t his job to police teachers’ tattoos and told me to take it up with the teachers’ union. When I called the union rep, she advised me to discuss my son’s “problem” with his guidance counselor. I’m furious. My husband says I should move on.

Answer: I’m with your husband. If you continue to make a big deal out of it at school, your son may stop talking to you about things that pique his interest. Use this teachable moment to help your son manage life’s distractions.

“The mom has a point,” said the principal of a large suburban high school who asked not to be identified. "But in today’s world, principals need to pick their battles. I’d rather focus my time and energy on the quality of the teacher’s instruction and methods.

“If this happened in my school, I’d ask one of her trusted female teacher coworkers to broach the subject, and I’d advise the mom to use this as an occasion to teach her son about how to stay focused on what matters.”

Kelly Richmond, a retired California guidance counselor, says to ignore the union rep’s silly response. “The son doesn’t have a problem,” she says. “This mom should be pleased that her son shared his observations with her.”

Don’t turn this into a cause célèbre at school, says Richmond. Instead, simply ask your son questions that can lead to a useful discussion about how he processes information and how he is learning to not get side-tracked by unimportant stuff.

And what might those questions be? Richmond suggests a few: “So, tell me about the tattoo. Is it the sign of pi? Is it a polygon? Does this teacher motivate students to learn geometry? Do students like and respect this teacher? How do you feel about adult role models showing off their tattoos? Who else do you know that has tattoos? Why do you think people decide to adorn themselves with body art that lasts forever? What happens if someone decides to remove a tattoo?”

Model being curious and sorting out what’s important, and then model moving on. “It’s important for teens to notice the interesting things in their environment, acknowledge those that are important, dispatch those that are distractions, then learn to refocus and get on with life.”

Your son trusted you with information and shared his observations. If you fail to ask him for information about what he’s thinking, he may choose not to confide in you in the future.

Do you have a question about your child’s education? E-mail it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com.

© 2009 YellowBrix, Inc.

---